A Perspective on the Vampyre/ Donor Relationship

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A Perspective on the Vampyre/ Donor Relationship

Postby Khan » Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:49 pm

For those of us that practice vampirism, nothing is quite as concerning and requires more attention than the relationship one has with their donor. The reason for that would be due to the balance needed on both sides to make such an arrangement worthwhile for both parties.

What many vamps fail to realize is that just as we have a need to feed, there is also an intrinsic need for donors to give. That balance can be easily disturbed if the vamp takes too much, or the donor gives more than what they are capable of giving. It’s imperative that both sides be aware of each others’ needs and parameters prior to engaging in this kind of an exchange.

Having been in both successful and horribly bad relationships with those whom have donored, I have been lucky to learn some very valuable lessons from those engagements.

The agreement between the donor and their partner should remain separate from any romantic involvement that might arise. As difficult as that sounds, without taking such things into consideration, you risk losing both a romantic interest and a valuable physical gift at the same time. Emotions seem to get the best of us at the worst times, so trying to prepare for such an event might make that transition a bit easier, should it arise. Something to be cognizant about is that different types of feeding techniques have a specific kind of draw. There are some types of draw that will cause a deep emotional bond. Never make a bond that you aren’t capable of breaking. Though it might sound defeatist, the possibility exists that such a thing might have to take place, and being able to address that should be able to be discussed in the event something takes a downturn.

With all the pleasure that comes from a good feeding experience, there’s also a sense of responsibility on both parts that must be adhered to. Not only does the vamp need to be cognizant of how much and how often they feed, but the donor also need to be perceptive to how they react to the feeding. It only takes one time of ignorance to throw the whole scenario askew for the future. If the relationship between the two is truly valuable to both parties, it’s imperative to look at the act of giving and being fed as a completely separate entity from any other type of relationship that might be present. Separating business and pleasure would be an apt analogy for this situation.

And with that knowledge, the most important lesson to remember is that with our natures, such an experience is a gift that should be cherished in and of itself. This is the prime contributor to why we feed, and why donors give, in the first place. Being what we are is not as alluring as the movies and romance novels. This is a way of life, and being irresponsible with the very essence of our beings has an affect not just in your lives, but for all our kind as attitudes shift down the road. Although we would like to find the ideal scenario prior to commencing this pairing, handling things responsibly from beginning to end is the best we can hope for in keeping both parties happy about what they share together.
Khan
Ramkht, House of the Dreaming
Candor Dat Viribus Alas

"You tell them I'm coming, and Hell is coming with me."
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Postby Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan » Mon Mar 02, 2009 1:52 am

Well said Khan. Emotional involvement is nearly impossible on the part of the donor for the simple fact that there is nothing more personal than our blood. I have found the act of feeding more intimate than sex and as such I rarely take on a donor that is not also my lover or consort. There definitely has to be a high level of understanding and boundaries involved as well as a distinct black and white idea of what type of feeding will be involved. I've noticed that in the case of vampyre relationships when donorship is a case of mutual exchange between the two one usually adapts feeding preferences to the needs of the other. I try to avoid seeking donors outside of my prevailing relationship if possible simply because of the things you have listed here. It's good to see someone pointing out the need to maintain boundaries and consideration of the other partner. Kudos to you for doing so. :D

Eternally,

Aislin
Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan
 


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