Black Swans

Methods, Health Information, Safety and articles of Instruction that benefit both donors and vampires with suggestions about how to interact with each other. This forum is available as a public resource, but only House of the Dreaming Forum participants with Crimson Circle access may post.

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Black Swans

Postby The Madame X » Sun Jan 19, 2014 7:50 am

Black Swans
By Madame X, Vodalok and Hesperus (c) 2014

House of The Dreaming (HotD) welcomes our Black Swans as part of our greater Family. Black Swans must be at least 18 years of age. Our Swans are trusted friends of individual Members of HotD. We grant them our respect for the assistance, talents and knowledge that they offer us. House of the Dreaming recognizes and distinguishes our Swans based upon continued merit, friendship and service to one or more members of Our Family. As such, Black Swans will be sponsored and recognized by at least one Family Member and acknowledged by the Whole of the House. HotD grants a public mention and welcome of newly recognized Black Swans to our Family and recognizes Black Swans on our membership page identifying them as Black Swans who are respected and prized by our Family. HotD grants those Black Swans who are interested access to the Outer Circle, Crimson Circle and the Silver Circle areas of our forum, where they can potentially volunteer to assist Members and Dedicants with ongoing projects, initiate their own project(s), contribute to the exchange of ideas and generate friendships. HotD will only grant Black Swans access to the Inner Circle on a ‘need to know’ basis in accordance with the projects they may be involved in.

It is wonderful that there are exceptional individuals out there that not only understand, but offer us their support and hand in loving friendship as we journey on our path. Support and friendship is always welcome. Here you will find a detailed list of how you can assist Our Family and deepen your value to your Nightkind Partner and to House of The Dreaming. Of many different types of Black Swans; Personal Aids, Counselors, Sponsors and Assistants of all kinds, it is the Life-Donating Swans that are by far the most prized and often the less recognized.

Our lovers, donors, shoulders that help hold us up, that give us not just life but strength when we are weak, and most importantly, give of themselves so completely as to become one with us. And Swans do all this by choice. The motives of some may be suspect, most out of fascination, and those rare few, that feel our hunger and our pain when we are without, do it out of compassion.
Swans are not just meat to be chewed on, drained, or sucked till they pass out. No, you are not just human; you are our connection to a life force we are cut off from.
For the true Black Swan, you feel us, you find us, and you call to us. But when we are in deepest need, and hearing you or seeing you is difficult, we may see someone next to you and move to them instead. Meaning that, should we be going through a forced or intentional fasting period of more than a year or more, it is harder for us to feel your intentions if we are currently without a Donor. It becomes difficult to tell who is really interested in adding us from those that are into satisfying their own needs or agenda’s. When a True Swan, a natural donor, is in the same room with someone like this, the need can be so overwhelming that we could walk right past you and to that other, darker intentioned individual. Their “needs” regardless of intention can be fog or shadow that dims your true heart making it hard for us to see, feel, or recognize what you offer over what is presented.

So what does it mean to us to have a Black Swan we can turn to? It means many things to so many, where the most obvious is feeding. What is overlooked and at times woefully ignored is the companionship they bring to us. It doesn’t even have to be a romantic affair; it can be a lifelong friendship, partnership, or friendly rivalry that is more akin to the love of a brother or sister than anything else. But for those that find that very special Swan, romance can bloom and when it does, you do become a very important part of us. That is the greatest gift you can give us. When we have that connection to our Swan, you become a life partner who gives us life, so that you too may have life. It is the ideal of yin and yang, the perfect match.
What you do for us, is simple, you make us healthy, wealthy in spirit, and allow us to live as close to a normal life as anyone could hope for. Without you, we wither and fade away.
Mistreat a Black Swan and it becomes difficult to find another. More so, it is that suffering we give to them before they leave that we have to feed on; and that is toxic. We might as well hang ourselves if we feed from a mistreated swan. Whatever you are to us, have no doubt; you are a part of us. And how we treat you is a very telling commentary on how we feel about and treat ourselves.

Ways Black Swans Can Help

Donating Life – Perhaps the most obvious of the many contributions Black Swans offer to their Nightkind Partners and to the Community at large is their donation of life in one form or another. Whether giving blood or energy, these donations provide the sustenance upon which we depend. While this precious gift often stands as the most evident manifestation of the unique relationship between Black Swans and Nightkind, your ability to enrich the lives of other members of the Community extends far further, and, in fact, your identity and value as a Black Swan is not dependent upon actively donating life.

Counseling – Listening and being a good sounding board, offering the best advice to help us cope with a stressful or challenging situation, is a valuable service. Effective counseling focuses on secrecy, preventing harm, decreasing anxiety, improving focus, generating a positive change or an improvement in the quality of life. On a more metaphysical level, counseling may also include divination, palmistry, tarot, or psychic readings. Counseling means being more than a friendly ear, it means providing useful guidance and if needed recommending helpful resources or professional help.

Comforting - Much like counseling, comforting is a valued service. Offering strength, encouragement, hope and easing the grieving process during challenging times are some of the many ways to show support. A relaxing foot massage, a neck rub, or a soothing meal are warming to the heart and spirit. Nightkind have a lot more at stake than the average person and your comforting warmth is appreciated.

Healing –
Given the necessary and intimate familiarity not only with energy exchange in general, but with your Partner's energy in particular, many Black Swans find they have a penchant for healing. Whether studying a formal healing system like Reiki or acupressure, or simply allowing your intuitive desire to heal, let it guide you in easing and even erasing pain. Your services as a healer in conjunction with any needed professional medical attention can prove invaluable when those Nightkind closest to you are injured or ill.

Sponsorship – Supporting an event, activity, Nightkind, House or adjunct organization financially or through the provision of products or services, is something else you can do to show you care. If you are interested in being a sponsor, either financially or with goods, services, even space - do communicate this with us; House of The Dreaming works with many personal and community projects and would welcome your patronage and sponsorship.

Online support –
As you might have guessed by now Nightkind are very busy. There are not only dayside responsibilities but also Nightside duties that need tending to. Offering your time to help with online activities will certainly be welcomed as many Nightkind host special interest groups, promote events online, and often have busy social networking pages. You may learn a great deal by offering to promote events, moderate a group, administer a page or manage online correspondence. Needless to say, discretion, trustworthiness, responsibility and accuracy are important here.

Event planning – One of the ways you can demonstrate your support is by helping plan a scheduled event or volunteering to host a gathering. While birthdays are a great time to demonstrate your support and friendship by inviting a few friends over, all you really need is a common interest to explore, be it a movie night or a fetish party. Depending on the type of event, some items to consider may be: invitations, announcements, sponsors, location, decorations, tableware, edibles, beverages, entertainment, security, restroom, smoking area, music, favors, guestbook, pre-party clean up, parking space, coat check, introductions, post-party clean up, thank-yous, etc… Making checklists is helpful, and so is offering to assist when a party or gathering is on the table.

Entertainment – Many Black Swans are exceptional storytellers, board game participants, musicians, dance partners or multitalented entertainers. Honestly, sometimes it's just nice having you around. While our feelings for you typically extend well beyond friendship, we cherish our time with you in just about any capacity you're willing to share with us, and occasionally a clever joke, a serenade, or a moving poem can be just what we need most to brighten our spirits.

Editing/Translating/Research – You have an entire personal and educational background that is often completely distinct from that of your Nightkind Partner(s), sometimes including another language or greater familiarity with some field of study. Offering to help with translations to, or from, languages in which you are fluent in or even just supplying a fresh and trusted perspective can save hours of frustration or even totally broaden and revitalize an ongoing project.

Special Project Assistance – Are you project-motivated and wish to be more involved in the community? We are always looking for individuals who have time on their hands and are interested in helping out. Our Family is always in the midst of individual, house and community projects and we would certainly welcome another pair of hands to dig up records, compile information, create reports or update archives. This is a great way to learn about Our House, Community or topic at hand, and contribute in a constructive way.

Personal Aid – In a nutshell, this is someone who assists in daily business or personal tasks. Some aspects of assisting in this capacity include: special project assistance, managing agendas, scheduling meetings, reading and generating correspondence, answering/screening calls, running errands, shopping, reserving travel/accommodations, paying bills, concierge services, dining recommendations and perhaps even fitness (exercise monitoring and motivation). Keep in mind that being a PA is a very prestigious role and through it you will garner valuable knowledge, contacts, exposure and experience.

Contacts and Socialization – Are you the life of the party? Do you just love people and socialize frequently in person or online? Are you one of those amazing people who remember everyone’s names and never forget a face? That is a very valuable talent to us. We are always looking to meet other interesting and resourceful people. Come, join us and make some introductions.

Escorting – Accompanying someone to a meeting, social event or longer trip is a wonderful way to help and participate. Escorting implies more than just a date. Escorting often implies pre-planning routes, inspecting the vehicle, researching the background of people that will be contacted, screening rooms that will be visited, reporting findings before finally walking in together, attentively accompanying the Nightkind on their activity, providing social and conversational exchanges, and ensuring a safe return. Escorting implies that you not only are responsible, prepared and safety-minded, but that you can also dress and act appropriately for the occasion.

Designated Driving – Being that trustworthy person who commits to remain sober and alert as the driver of a vehicle when going to social gatherings is a wonderful way to contribute and participate. Being reliable, punctual and safety-minded are as important as having a valid driver's license. Whether you have your own vehicle or are entrusted to drive another’s car, having a reliable driver and companion on a long trip, or even on a short trip in unfamiliar territory, is wonderful.

Home and Child Care – As you know Nightkind are very busy folks. Sometimes help is needed around the house particularly if we are involved in a special project or trying to meet a deadline. If you give a hand with the dishes, making a meal or folding the laundry, it would certainly be welcome, as it would free up our time for other pressing matters.
Child Care, too, is a very important aspect of support. Not only is childcare costly, but it requires a great deal of trust in the caretaker on the part of the parents. A trusted Black Swan who already knows the child and has built a friendly rapport is a perfect choice to facilitate a night out for your Nightkind Partner or to free up some time for other tasks. Just communicate that you want to help and it will be appreciated.

Skills and Talents – Maybe you are good with computers, cars or plumbing… or maybe you are good with hair and make-up… maybe you are good with graphic design or website management… maybe you are a photographer or a videographer or have access to specialty equipment and would like to extend that access to us or offer your services to HotD… or maybe you have another special skill or talent that can be a great advantage to your Nightkind Partner, Our Family or the Community. Communicate that. Offer your talents and availability. Participate. Be involved. Be an asset.

Why Be a Black Swan?

With such an extensive list of important gifts Black Swans can offer, some may find themselves wondering what it is that Black Swans get out of this arrangement. Surely, if the relationship between Black Swans and your Partners were completely parasitic, we wouldn't expect very many volunteers, so what exactly are some of the ways you can expect to benefit from your exchanges with other members of the community?

Satisfying a Need to be Needed – Sometimes what you need most is to be needed by someone else, to have someone else acknowledge your inherent worth. That need is completely valid and, though it manifests differently from person to person, entirely normal. For some, this need is most thoroughly or meaningfully satisfied by providing vital-sustenance, or other form of support, to your Nightkind Partner or to the community as a whole.

Relieving Excess Energy – Some Black Swans report struggling with a natural excess of energy that you need to give off just as Nightkind need to take extra energy in. Without relief, this unused energy can prove burdensome, disruptive and even unhealthy. Becoming a Black Swan offers you the means to transform this burden into a blessing.

Promoting Positive Well-being – Those who sustain themselves on the emotions of others must, naturally, experience those emotions at least to some degree; this creates a natural motivation and, often, inherent tendency in Nightkind to inspire the very emotions we prefer feeling. As such, during donations or other interactions with us, many Black Swans feel elated, inspired, peaceful, amused, or even aroused.
There are also physical and energetic benefits to being a regular donor. Donating Life will facilitate the naturally occurring replenishment of your own supply, which will help your body to function more efficiently. You may be able to feel it quite dramatically after each session as a refreshing surge or elation. This process of replenishment can help your physical and energetic body stay healthy becoming more efficient and productive. In addition, as Life-donors are encouraged to have frequent health checks, you will be able to regularly confirm your overall health.

Catharsis – While traditional feeding is not typically advisable during periods of emotional turmoil, as you may need all your available energy to get through such a difficult time, some Nightkind are particularly skilled in working with your energy, especially those who have become familiar with you after working with you over time, and can help filter out any emotional stagnation. Outside healing processes like these, your Nightkind Partner should have a natural and powerful motivation to create and maintain an environment of safety and validation for you, where your feelings will be acknowledged and your efforts to work through them at your own pace will likewise be fully supported.
Along the same lines, the involvement with Nightkind can prove to be inspiring, transformative and even cathartic. New awareness and opportunities for growth, understanding and personal evolution can happen and often do.

General Symbiosis – The truth is that what we need varies from one individual to the next, and that these distinctions extend far beyond blood vs. prana. For example, exactly what patterns of energy most satisfy one psi-vamp may vary widely from those that best sustain another. At the same time, each Black Swan has unique needs and abundances. Accordingly, an ideal pairing of a Black Swan and a partner would be one in which these traits complement each other; that is, the particular deficit that the Nightkind needs balanced would directly correspond to a natural surplus in the Black Swan. In such arrangements, the siphoning off of that excess from you by your Partner, when undertaken within mutually agreeable limits, should create little or no sense of loss in the Black Swan. Furthermore, the accumulation of forms of energy that are not naturally expressed can lead to feelings of lethargy, dissatisfaction or other undesirable manifestations of energetic stagnation; by giving away this built-up energy to someone else who could use more of exactly that type of energy, everyone wins.

Spiritual and Personal Validation – As described by our very own Black Swan Imon, working with Nightkind can be "an opportunity to step out of the ordinary and into the world of the extraordinary." Whatever your personal beliefs are, having some vital part of yourself drawn out doesn't merely deplete your own reserves, it stands as evidence that, that strength, in whatever form it takes, exists within you to be tapped into, harnessed and applied as a valuable asset. To us, there is something vital and precious flowing through you at all times. Regularly validating that fact facilitates some Black Swans' access to your own inner strengths, revealing insights about yourselves you might not have otherwise uncovered.

Recognition and Prestige – A strong partnership shines brightly for the whole community to see. When you become a Black Swan of Our Family, you become recognized as an extension of our Family and a close Associate of our House. Not only will your Partner personally celebrate your invaluable contributions, but it's no secret throughout the Nightkind Community that the success of an endeavor often depends largely upon the availability of resources that come directly from our Black Swans. Your Nightkind Partners function their best and produce their most inspired and acclaimed work with your donations of life and general support, and a great deal of the praise for your Partner's accomplishments is rightfully aimed at you. Finding the perfect Partner can result in a potent dynamic that will drive you both to achieve greatness that others cannot help but recognize and applaud.

It's important to remember that each relationship is unique; not every partnership will include all of these elements, and your own needs and expectations may differ from those listed here. Voicing what you are personally looking for from your role as Black Swan, as well as what contributions you are and are not willing to offer, remains an important element of establishing a healthy relationship with a Partner, and this conversation should be revisited frankly and regularly, as needs and interests evolve with time. House of the Dreaming recognizes that the bond between Black Swans and their Nightkind Partners is sacred and powerful, demanding the utmost respect and it should be enjoyable and empowering for all parties involved.
Ex Somnius Scientia
Madame X
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Re: Black Swans

Postby The Madame X » Wed Sep 10, 2014 6:02 pm

I am often asked:

Can Black Swans eventually become full members of our House?
The answer is yes. Being a Black Swan is a wonderful way to get to know our Family, traditions and goals while assisting and heading projects that are an extension of the Family. Black Swans can be recognized as Honorary Members of our Family as well as apply for Dedicant Status as a prequel to Full Membership.

How do I become a Black Swan?
The first step is to discuss this with the Member(s) of our Family that you are more close to. Each Full Member is welcome to include their swans in our Crimson Circle. The requisite for admission as a Black Swan is service, assistance and/or comfort but may vary from member to member, so do discuss it with us and read thru this article. We do not have a specific date or time of the year when we add or scout for Swans; we like to keep things fluid.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have :)
Ex Somnius Scientia
Madame X
Matriarch, House of the Dreaming
User avatar
The Madame X
Member / Matriarch
Posts: 7268
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:48 pm
Location: Portugal / NJ US

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