Awakening into Sexual Vampirism

[LadyDarkAdora]

[deacongray]

Again very well done my friend!

I really like that you have such a grasp on your expirences and manage to communicate it so well. I know how writing articles like this can be, you put a lot into it. The real test with articles is not how many people respond, but how many people read it.

Again well done

[The Madame X]

Great Article Adora!
Good research and awesome going on getting other perspectives on there.
The article does need some minor edits but you certainly covered the topic quite well.

I think two of the best points you make is one that feeding/energy-draw often happens unconsciously and the key is to become aware of it, and two, that vampires often feed in more than one way.

This last point has a great deal to do with what I have been trying to put out there, which is that there should not be classifications of Vampires but better descriptions of the various methods of feeding.

I look forward to your next article.
And don't forget to do at least a poor-mans' copyright on all your work.

[LadyDarkAdora]

Thank you!!!

[Beth Athena]

This is a very important article to have written and to be read. Even for those who have accepted vampirism and the necessity to feed, certain cultures hold sex as taboo and someone grown up with that overhanging expectation may be shamed by the urges and impulses they feel. This is especially true for us females who suffer from that particular double-standard: a male who sleeps around is often a 'stud' while a woman who sleeps around is a 'slut'. (Note: This is not 100% true of course, men do suffer some negative consequences but in general it is women who have the worst of it.) Add to that concerns about disease and pregnancy with both genders can share, and sexual vampirism can be come a lonely and dangerous playground for someone to wander through alone. That you and the others whose experiences you present are willing to offer voice is a great boon to anyone else going through this.

I would like to add my voice as well.

I have previously confessed to being a gamer, and anyone who knows me will know that I can usually be found glued to a computer, but what people don't know is that what I am usually engaged in, (or waiting to be engaged in) is a special RP is a type of feeding. I have had three steady 'partners' over the past twelve years, and a few one times that didn't pan out because it just wasn't satisfying. This is, as I said, a role play. I always play a male; I think it might be because I have an easier time accepting the sexual, predatory side in that context, due the aforementioned internalizations of what is expected of men and of women. My three steady partners have all been women about my age, one of whom I knew in person and who had a crush on me despite being married, the other two strangers with whom my primary interaction was through the computer. Somehow, even though all three initially stated disinterest in writing anything sexual, it usually comes to that through the course of our stories.

I find that the periods of time in-between partners, or if my current partner is unavailable for extended periods of time, I tend to become depressed and generally ill-feeling as well as constantly hungry, whereas the day after a full session with a partner, I may not even think about food at all. Is the internet an efficient tool for feeding? I really don't know enough to say, but I can tell you that I established enough of a connection with a man in Australia that I manifested in his dream as someone he had to protect through many troubles, even from his own mother (with whom he generally has a good relationship).

As for real world sexuality, things area bit murkier. I realize, thinking back, that although I never had sex until my mid-twenties, I engaged in sexual behavior as early as middle school. I don't recall the exact year, but I remember trading kisses with a kid named John Brown, hidden beneath the oversized desks. (what a deliciously generic name for an anecdote, I promise that's what it actually was.) As I roll the subject around in my mind, I recall other incidents which until now I'd shut away in the vault of my memory.

When I did actually have sex for the first time, it was with a boyfriend I hadn't exactly picked out for myself. I'd considered him as a possibility but been to scared/inexperienced/whatever to ever approach anyone... and yet one day I found myself kissing him. Found myself as in watching my body from a distance as it leaned over and took complete control of him. The look of rapture on his face had me hooked. As time passed and I realized I didn't really like being with him, (he was a nice enough guy, but a bit boring to be around and it was horrible how he treated his mother and sister) I started questioning how I had even ended up with him, and I realized it was his desire for me that had pulled me to him. I stayed with him for five years, and in that time the sex was never good. He could never last, and I never received anything close to pleasure or satisfaction from the act itself. However, I kept coming back to him, not because I cared for him and wanted to make the relationship work, but because his continued desire for me was something that I needed.

All of these things I've been aware of for a while, but in a jumbled, disjointed way. However, since speaking with you and then reading your article, things have started falling into place in a way they never have before, becoming a clearer picture altogether. I'm not sure where I'm going to go from here, but I want you to know that you've helped me see where I stand a little clearer.

[deacongray]

I think it is wonderful you are exploreing again. Many of us find ourselves lost in the pattern of bliss and starvation from the encounters we already have, and tend to shut out the possibility of growth. It is hard to see growth when intense feelings of longing are involved...either for being loved, wanted, needed or starved.

So good on ya! I am happy to hear this news

[LadyDarkAdora]

I am glad to have been of help to you!

I do know what you are talking about with the rp...I used to do textual rp - meaning I would roleplay through written words. There would be threads and I, of course, played both male and female. The female was the manipulative "bitch". The male was the whore. haha.

(I like attention too)

Either way, try not to let the urge to be needed, wanted, desired to stunt your spiritual and mental growth. Go after enlightenment first and then learn how to control the feeding from the desire and such later. You must remain strong against the temptation to just go for that when you can go for much much more.