Embracing the community: a personal account

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Embracing the community: a personal account

Postby SophieAnn » Sun May 22, 2011 7:08 am

For me, being kin revolves around the questions:

“Who am I”
“What am I doing here”
“What is it I am meant to be doing?”
“Where do I belong?”

In many ways I find being kin feels like one of those machines from the arcades that has scooped a toy from a collection and deposited me in an outside world. Many kin with whom I have spoken share a dislike with the world and a need to return ‘home’ where things make greater sense. As such much of the conversations seems to revolve around the ‘alienness’ of the world in which we live and discomfort within it. When this occurs, I divert the conversation towards their own feelings towards this perception of the world, their own individuality whilst aiming for an empowerment of self-definition away from our traditionally patriarchal materialistic framework.

Through sharing these angles I have found many other areas open. Such questions include:

“How may I recognise the synchronicities in my life?”
“How may aspects from my dreams tell me more about who and what I am?”
“How may understanding my kin type assist me in achieving insights?”
“How may I pass on my knowledge to others both to my fellow kin and beyond?”

I think it was that more than anything else that first attracted me to House of the Dreaming. Reading how our existence through dreams comprises a different meaning – discourse – and embracing this to facilitate our own understanding of who we all are coupled with a continual drive to deepen this knowledge was exciting filled with many possibilities. Immediately I was drawn to cite The Neverending Story which seeks to describe how this process is facilitated: I noted also how I happened to fall upon House of the Dreaming at this time observing the significance of the synchronicity. “Everything happens for a reason,” as my ex phoenix girlfriend would say as though it was unable to happen any other way! It was this that prompted me to write my first letters to Madame X and become involved with the House.

Having been at a few meetings within SH, however, I wonder if somehow one of the ‘points’ (if there is such a thing as points) of kin is being missed. Certainly deepening our understanding of ourselves can be no bad thing in itself. However, there is also a ‘bigger picture’ game being played out and many kin work within this, pulled in the direction of whatever it was he or she feels they came here to achieve
At the last couple of meets I questioned what we mean by ‘nightside’ and ‘dayside’. Within the vampire community of course these terms are widely acknowledged, used and understood. Within the kin community, these words can have very different meanings. Having talked to my new girlfriend, a vampire / dark angel hybrid, she suggested that changing the terminology to Hidden and Seen may be somewhat more productive since of course most kin do not reveal who they are to those who would not understand. However, the reasons I suggested examining the terminology is that kin understand the light and dark in different ways and depending upon the type of kin can be seen to be a good or a bad thing. In addition, whilst we may be on ‘dayside’, our ‘nightside’ abilities are still there: we do not (at least consciously) control when these synchronicities take place and we may find ourselves meeting others in places we would not normally expect. For example, one of my mentors (whom I met at my workplace when needing someone to talk to about some vampire spiritual ‘attacks’) whilst adamant we had to be careful who was listening, this ‘nightside’ conversation occurred within a ‘dayside’ setting. For me, examining and re-examining what these terms mean is very much part of coming to terms with who I am as kin and appreciate the pause during our last meet in order for this process in thought to take place.

Another illustration of how my more hidden sides came into play through synchronistic discourse arose at my spiritual circle which I now attend fortnightly having chosen to drop one of the alternating groups. Within the first few sessions, the facilitator, an internationally recognised healer, returned from a trip from Australia. Given that one of my phoenix contacts resides in Australia I was immediately drawn to the similarity of their energy. At first I put this due to the country he had visited, but the significance of this played through over and over in my mind. As it happened, the group was working on energy in a way I felt was unsafe for me to participating (was worried about drawing in all the energy), so ended up with the group facilitator, an internationally recognised healer, for the entire session on a one-to-one. As I was describing to him privately a little about who I was and what I did without revealing too much, he asked me if I knew what the source energy was. Immediately, my thoughts came back to Gary, my phoenix Australian contact, and I realised I probably knew more about it at that point than he, at least on a conscious level, but was unsure of how to proceed. In the end, I decided the best thing would be to link him directly with Gary, and the following session had attained Gary’s permission to make this so. The third session (two weeks later) they had spoken to each other, and Gary informed me this healer had been talking about the archetypal energy and the idea of actually being directly involved with phoenix had taken him by surprise (at no point did Gary try and redefine this healer’s own reality). But on some level I could ‘feel’ as though part of this healer was awakening to new possibilities. In the meantime the healer took this revelation back to the group and was sharing his brief experience saying (in his joking lighthearted way but with the typical calmness and authority I have come to associate with phoenix kin) “what trouble have you got me in?” and when one of the other group members enquired he explained he had been talking to a phoenix, to which he was asked more: he replied: “no the bird!” The following occasion although I did not have very much to say during the session, I found myself revealing to him that I felt his energy as phoenix (being careful to state these were my observations not an objective reality) which I saw emanating around him like an aura, hence the source energy he had asked me. Due to situations of his home life, he retired after this session and I have not seen him since although I sent him an email (for which he replied) saying I was pleased our paths had crossed. In terms of synchronicity it was almost as if the entire purpose of our meeting had been for me to deliver that message. Having now spoken about this with the mentor from my workplace ( whomI mentioned earlier), her first instincts were that I was meant to have shared that with him from the onset, suggesting if anything I had been overcautious.

Whilst this group can be argued is a ‘nightside’ context, I would say for me this is not so, since is neither a kin nor a vampire context so much of what I hold has to stay hidden. Yet, the situation presented itself in which I felt obliged to deliver the message I felt was being asked – did I understand the source energy – and it was his inner calling that prompted the situation.

-

In terms of synchronicities I would like to share something that is written from The Celestine Prophacy. Whilst the book was written for the mundane, its forum – of which my ex now runs its offshoot – mostly comprises kin (angel, faery, phoenix, and so on). Within this book are beautiful illustrations of how listening to synchronicities work and how those opened to these experiences are able to benefit. She was always a great believer in the lessons taught from this book. The example is as follows:
Book: The Secret of Shambhala: In search of the Eleventh Insight (James Redfield)

In this section, the main character who has already learned of the first ten Insights has been sent to his neighbour’s daughter to gain further insight (although how she knows is not made clear), and he sets off to find her.

(Page 21)

“When I arrived at her house, there seemed to be no one home. I walked onto the deck of the dark brown A-frame and knocked on the door loudly. No answer. Then, as I glanced around the left side of the house, something grabbed my attention. I was looking down a rock pathway that led past Bill’s huge vegetable garden and up to a small grassy meadow on the very top of the ridge. Had the light changed?
I looked up at the sky, trying to figure out what had occurred. I had seen a shift in the light in the meadow as though the sun had been behind a cloud and then had suddenly peaked out, illuminating that specific area. But there were no clouds. I strolled up to the meadow and found the young girl sitting at the edge of the grass. She was tall and dark haired, wearing a blue soccer uniform, and as I approached, she jerked around, startled.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” I said.

She looked away for a moment in the shy way a teenager might, so I squatted down to be at her eye level and introduced myself.

She looked back at me with eyes much older than I expected.

“We aren’t living the Insights here,” she said.

I was taken aback. “What?”

“The Insights. We aren’t living them.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked at me sternly. “I mean, we haven’t figured it out completely. There’s more that we have to know.”

“It’s not that easy…”

I stopped. I couldn’t believe I was being confronted by a fourteen year old like this. For an instant a flash of anger swept across me. But then Natalie smiled – not a large smile, just an expression at the edges of her mouth that made her endearing. I relaxed and sat down on the ground.

“I believe the insights are real,” I said. “But they aren’t easy. It takes time.”

She wasn’t letting up. “But there are people who are living them now.”

I looked at her for a moment. “Where?”

“In Central Asia. The Kunlum Mountains. I’ve seen it on the map.” She sounded excited. “You have to go there. It’s important. There’s something changing. You have to go there now. You have to see it.”

As she said this, the expression on her face looked mature, authoritative, like that of a forty-year-old. I blinked hard, not believing what I was seeing.

“You have to go there,” she repeated.

“Natalie,” I said, “I’m not sure where you mean. What kind of place is it?”

She looked away.

“You said you saw it on the map. Can you show me?”

She ignored my question, looking distracted. “What… what time is it?” she asked slowly, stuttering.

“Two-fifteen.”

“I gotta go.”

“Wait, Natalie, this place you were talking about. I –“

“I gotta meet the team,” she said “I’m going to be late.”

She was walking fast now and I struggled to reach her. “What about this place in Asia, can you remember exactly where it is?”

As she glanced back at me over her shoulder I saw only the expression of a fourteen-year-old girl with her mind on soccer.”

(Page 23)

I wanted to share this passage since I have found many kin to realise truths from the Celestine Prophecy. Even though the book, to my mind seems very much over simplified and professes only to the light hence missing out the yin and yang, there are still a number of observations I have found enlightening. One of those is seeing the significance of our encounters. At one point the main character would have turned this girl away due to her age. However, by this time he understands that everything which happens and is given to him is significant and to block what she has to say is to miss out on a message or a stretch of the journey put there by our guides. It is for this reason, I believe many kin groups like to open their doors to whomever feels drawn hence utilising these synchronicities to their full advantage.

In April’s meet, SH was faced with the same problem. We had already agreed that the group was to be for those over 18, yet we had someone who was 14 sharing their energy and insights with us. I can certainly understand why group members felt uncomfortable, a discomfort I feel is also reflected in the above fictional passage. However, from a kin perspective following the everything happens for a reason philosophy, that this 14 year old had chosen to share their insights with us in such a manner contained an important message for the rest of us to hear. Perhaps the newness of choosing to work in a different way; a construct coming from such a being before being changed and altered by the mainstream groups. If it were not possible for this group to have directly heard what Angelique had to say, perhaps the opportunity could have been sought to do so indirectly through her speaking to another member so we could have benefited from the insight. Most kin whom I have spoken about merely shrug when participation comes to such matters saying “age is just a number”. Given that SH is a kin group, it would have been interesting, once Angelique had left to discuss such participation, again the synchronistic occurrence adding diversity and depth to the conversation taking place, and I feel sad this opportunity was missed for us all to examine our stance. Whilst we may understand the ‘rules’ within House of the Dreaming, typically I have found working with kin means examining and re-examining the rules: kin often takes us away from our comfort zones.

It is on this note, I return to the terms ‘nightside’ and ‘dayside’. These are, to the best of my knowledge, not ‘kin’ terms, but vampiric ones. Every one of us had a vampire connection whether it was being a vampire or being a vampire donor. Thus the more abstract perspective I have come across was barely present in the meet.

This is to my mind exactly why the vampiric and kin communities need to help each other. For the kin communities, the tendency to throw out the darkness as irrelevant, harmful or lowering of vibrations I believe is to negate the whole being, and ultimately results in few achieving their full potential whatever that may be. Vampires often have a beautiful way of accepting and releasing the whole self which is often missed by those who do not understand or embrace, coupled with a wonderful ability to draw things out beyond comfort zones into something more fulfilling but with a focus many would find helpful and thought provoking. The vampire Houses, on the other hand, often have such inflexible rules that many of those who are kin with no vampiric connection never hear the calling and choose instead to stay away. Synchronicities are missed such as those I have described due to a fear of being revealed at the wrong moments, the innate secrecy being a barrier to prevent others from understanding or moving forward. There is a certain level of expectedness and plan that many kin simply find too uncomfortable to join or alien to their own paths or requirements and for this reason I believe the two continue communities often choose to remain separate.

It is here I look at what SH is offering. To embrace the self is a worthwhile and fulfilling ambition. But to do so under the guise of adapting and understanding kin, but from a rigid base I feel is to throw out much of the different ways and definitions of what makes working with kin so special and unique. For this reason, as long as the inflexibility remains and the boundaries of basic definitions are never examined nor moved, only a tiny corner of this wonderful area will ever be unleashed. At the time, I found it quite hurtful to be told to go “back to basics” and read the board within House of the Dreaming when re-examining the definitions although I fully appreciate the efforts since to discuss our understanding as a group in further detail.

Since the SH meetings of last year I feel I have personally come a very long way. Whilst I have left the Empath group (which my ex ran) due to their own inflexibility of working with darkness, I still work with many over MSN on a very individual basis. I have also been learning huge amounts from my spiritual circle I attend every fortnight and was informed by one observer that I have a very high vibration (but need to bring it down sometimes to connect on lower levels). I still keep my spiritual journal and reflect in there frequently. As I have already said I understand more about the dragon-phoenix connection, and am currently learning about how to use meditation and focus to control my chakras and energies. I do not want to make it sound I am above learning: like everyone else I make mistakes, and I also acknowledge there are still things I very much want to achieve for myself.

I believe very much within the principals of SH, and am glad to be here to help share in thoughts and experiences. I realise its potential to really embrace the gulf between kin and vampire issues, and welcome the challenge of thinking ‘outside the box’. This opportunity is unique offering a seemingly more structured approach than many kin groups offer, but with the diversity to address these issues in a new and challenging way. However, even then, there is still temptation to snuggle deep within the rabbit’s fur (taken from the book “Sophie’s World”). To avoid this we need to maintain a continual drive and courage to look at ourselves and the world around us in this new way so that we may continue to address who we are and understand more about the ways in which our own inner spirit wishes us to engage.

Eternal blessings
Sophie
Xxx

I am intending to post an abridged version of this (less my specific reflections within SH) to the articles section of the main group so others can reflect (should they wish).
Make every moment special
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SophieAnn
 
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