After care for donors

[deacongray]

After care for donors
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Donor After Care
In my last article I spoke briefly about “After Care” when dealing with a Donor. I thought briefly on the concept that there are certain after care obligations a Vampire has in regards to the Donor that I didn’t really cover in depth what this might entail. So I thought I would expand on the ideas a little. Perhaps some of your own concepts, ideas and new concepts of after care can start to be nurtured

Each of us is different; we handle things in different ways, with different people and Donors. There are many different kinds of Donors. What works best for one kind of Donor may not work for another kind of Donor.

This said I would like to break this down into three pieces:

After Care for the Sanguinary Donor
After Care for the Psi Energy Donor
After Care for the Eros (Sexual) Type Donor
Donor after care for all types can be fairly simple. The biggest consideration is taking the time to really get to know your Donor. Find out what their medical history is. What are their mental and emotional state and any other conditions that may become an issue? Trust your gut feelings before your hunger if your gut says “Stop” take a metaphoric cold shower and move on!


Sanguinary Donor after care
The first thing to consider is the Donor’s physical well being. Make sure he/she is physically well, not dizzy, feeling nauseated, or excessively weak. Watch for such things as they could lead to complications and/or physical injury. We can never leave a recently drained Donor by his/her self. Stay with him/her for at least 15 minutes after the exchange, as he/she could fall, become ill, or need your attention in other way.

Ensure you have the right clean up items on hand prior to feeding, and then use them in an informed manner. Betadine or rubbing alcohol are two of many different types of antiseptic topical cleansers that are available to everyone. There are also many different kinds of post cleaning ointments available as well. Here are a few; Neosporin, Bacitracine, Triple Antibiotic Ointment all are great to help keep bacteria out of a newly cleaned cut. A good band-aid is also advisable, I like Scooby band-aids it adds a little emotional humor and warmth but to each their own.

Because of the highly intimate action of taking ones blood, there is often times a reported bond or connection between the Donor and Vampire after a feeding. It is important to understand that the bond is not something that happens in every case, but it is possible. With proper communication before feeding the Donor and Vampire can become aware of this bond’s possibility and therefore be more able to handle the situation should it a rise.

Talk. Spend some time getting to know each other. Speak of your expectations, explain clearly how deeply and emotionally you are prepared to become and what, if anything will be involved in the aftercare process.

I find that there are many ways once the basic clean up is done to show your appreciation as well as allow the Donor and Vampire some time to “cool down” so to speak. One of those stated is to basically plan a night on the town. It does not have to be dancing or movies, but get out and spend a little time winding down. Some like getting a video and spending some time on the couch watching a good movie. Each person is different but prior planning to the act can really save you a lot of time and it helps to ensure both parties are happy and understanding at the end of the night.



Psychic Donor after care
Aftercare for the Psychic Donor in some ways sounds easier then the other two kinds. After all there does not need to be, in most cases, an intimate physical connection. You do not have to worry about disease and infection; the changes of a deep emotional connection are limited, aren’t they?

The truth is that after care of all Donors can be simple or complex. The Psychic Donor is often times the hardest one to take care of after the event. Not only can their physical energy be drained, but so can their emotional and spiritual energy.

Watch out for signs that the Donor seems overly drained or confused. While many will declare their well being, if you watch them you may see some signs of Donor Drain.

The recently drained Donor needs to be looked after more intently then any of the other types. Part of this is because truly understanding their current state can be so difficult. Some become so drained that they become very suggestible, though they seem to be perfectly happy and rational.

With out reason they are suddenly willing to engage in physical acts with those they normally would not be willing too engage with. They may also simply not be able to really say no as the drain can leave then simply confused and uncertain.

More then one Donor has complained to me of being left in a state of nearly helplessness, and then taken advantage of by others. One shared with me the story of how she was raped, and while normally she would have been able to fight him off, she was so weakened that the rape must nearly have seemed consensual. There are a few tests one can employ to help, but these are not fool proof.

Get the Donor to conduct a fine motor skill of an unknown action. Such as; ask them to untie a knot, or write something. Often times if a Donor can write clear thoughts and then the issue is resolved. Demonstrating fine motor skills shows that they have the ability to focus and concentrate.

Often times a Psychic Donor can experience a state of depression after the initial physical drain. The trouble is that the emotional roller coaster that many of them can ride is often hard to detect. Because of this it is more important to really make sure you conduct a good follow up with your Donor. Make certain that they are healthy and in good spirits.

It is important not to confuse basic Donor Drain, with depression. Depression is something that normally sets in over time and stays around longer then a few hours. Donor Drain can often have emotional reactions, but typically is gone after a short period of time.

A personal note: One Donor I had simply wanted to have me sit beside her with her head in my lap for 15 or twenty minutes while she composed her self. I secretly think my post feeding conversation was more then she could stand after fifteen minutes and forced her into clarity of thought. Either way after the fifteen or twenty minutes she would typically go dancing or find another way to enjoy our evening.


Eros Type Donor after care
This type of feeder is a tough one. First understand that Eros Type feeders do not always feed off sex it self. Rather sexual energy which can be gained through many different means.

One kind of Eros Type feed from sexual intercourse. If you do not know how to clean up after sex it is perhaps best if you move to another article. Planned Parenthood and many internet sites have detailed information about how to clean up after having sex intercourse. They contain everything from when to pee, to, where to throw the condom if one is used.

The second kind of Eros Types feed from “The Physical Tease.” This involves sexual touching with out the actual sexual intercourse. Many of this type of feeder are into different Kinks and use this as their means to feed. This often does not involve fluid exchange but can have some very serious emotional and physical effects.

It is important, like above to take these into consideration and ensure both parties are made aware of exactly what is expected. Just because one of this kind of feeder wants to twist your nipples, or slap your ass does not mean they want to be life long partners. It is extremely important to make this clear; if this is your intent.

The third and final Eros type feeder is the one I call “The Flirt” The flirt feeds from the desire and lust of others. It is often their goal to make the Donor so worked up with desire as to make the sexual tension nearly palpable. Most all of us have felt that tension at one point or another in our lives, and the issues are obvious.

Like “The Tease” and “The Flirt” they may or may not want sexual intercourse. However in order to make sure that he/she feeds they need to induce that desire in another. It can be tricky work. One reported to me that he would get his co-worker so hot to trot that she would race home and nearly rape her husband. He would feed from her in this manner at least twice a week. The relationship was built in a manner that made all three very happy. This kind of relationship is not as common as one might like for it to be.

After care for Donor Drain, physical reactions, emotional connections, and for all those little things that might occur are very important. The best way in all cases to prepare for proper Donor Care is to talk in advance with a proper negotiation between the parties. While the hunger may be raging inside, it’s important to try to have patience, keep a level head, and work to take care of both our selves and our Donors.


Deacon Gray

Edited by Sherri

[Syngin]

After reading this I realize that some of us may very well feed in a style that encompasses all of these catagories at once. This of course would mean that for the most part a relationship exist between you and the donor. Special care should be taken during feeding for obvious reasons that you do not drain to much at one time. I'm sure that there are others who would have to acknowledge that they also feed in multiple forms at once it seems like it is just a very natural way to do things.

[deacongray]

I have to say,

The more I am around you guys the more I'm glad Madam X invited me here. Out of five forums this piece went to, this is the only one that picked up on that aspact.

I had hoped that others would see the connections and that most of the time after care can be conducted in many common forms.

Thanks I really and glad to have been brought here,

D

[zhiva]

First off, thank you for this article deacongray. I also have to agree that some of us, myself included, feed and give in a way that utilizes all three categories at once.

What made me realize this was the appearance of blood during an experience that my partner and I intended to be purely a one directional psi feed.

Conversation is key. Sharing all internal thoughts and experiences with an intimate donor is necessary, even though I find that without words we both know exactly what is going on. Still, the conversation helps other parts of the mind assimilate the event. Allowing the exchange to settle in finish naturally with warmth is such a wonderful experience I can't even put it into words.

With the help of the information here, along with the Pysichic Vampire Codex I am learning alot about practices that were intuitive to myself and my partner, why we were brought together and how to better relate to one another, feeding, giving, refining and givng back life force.

I have found that in my particular case I am not just a feeder or a donor but go through natural cycles and so does my partner.

[RavenHarte]

Ooooo good article..

I wanted to add a couple of cents from the donors perspective...

RE Sang donation.. some of us, especially those donors who can also vamp, can come up allergic to things like Neosporin/Triple Antibiotic ointment etc. A&D ointment tends to show less allergic reaction, however in all truth my own medical profs have said its best not to have anything interfere with the healing process where it can be helped (sometimes ointment is needed to keep a hard scab from forming, which DOES increase scarring). Just cleaning the wound well, making sure the edges are sealed with butterflies if large enough for that (surgical glue is fine but can cause the scar to be wider than it would be with butterflies) and covering it with a sterile dressing usually does the trick. I like the Scooby bandaids idea too, I think its ironic, LOLOL.

Also appreciating that your donor has allowed physical injury is SOOOO important. As a vamp after you metabolize the energy, you may be tempted to minimize the sacrifice your donor made for you.. but that donor carries a permanent scar to feed you. We choose to do that yes, but don't trivialize it, its demeaning and disrespectful. Taking the few minutes to cleanse and bind our wounds shows us that you care about what we've given you, and care about how we feel about that. Kiss the damned boo boo for petes sake, LOLOL

Psi or Sang: Making sure your donor has something handy to eat is always appreciated. Eating forces the body to actually WORK, so grounds you physically even when one feels a little loopy. So having something for your donor to eat right away, carbs are good, will help them quickly begin to recoup some balance. Also, if you are a sensitive enough vamp, watch their chakras for a few minutes, make sure they are spinning together, get synced back up, and that your donor isnt still spilling energy from anywhere as well. Some donors may focus their energy directly to the place their vamp is feeding from, but dont realize they are "leaking" from somewhere else. And just because the physical sang wound is closed doesnt necessarily mean that psi energy isnt still leaking from there... so make sure they are "zipped up"

Donors do have the responsibility to learn how to do all these things for themselves of course, I'm not saying we don't.. but its always nice to know our vamps care.. even if we are just the "cheeseburger" of the night. Its more knowing there is a general and GENUINE respect I think, at least for me, doesnt have to be personal.. though thats nice to have too.

[Syngin]

There are ways for a sang to feed without leaving scars! It might not hurt to take a hemotology class or Emt class at a college near you. Beisdes it never hurts to have this knowledge especially when we tend to feast on our friends. It's true it might bite into the fun of feeding (sorry for the pun) by using specific non damaging places to eat from but I'm sure your donors would appreciate it. Two of my donors are in law enforcement and they can't afford to have strange marks on their bodies that includes multiple blood draws which could make them look a bit like a junkie. I have managed to come up with several non scaring in unnoticable places ways to feed. Besides I can have some fun feeding eros or pranic while I 'm at it.

[Aislin Ni MorRhiaghan]

LOL @ kiss the damned boo boo!! I don't recall ever seeing it put quite like that before, but it's cute.

Anyway, Syn is right. You can certainly be a donor without having scars all over the place from feeding sessions and so forth. Pulling the blood delicately up through the pores of the skin will allow a vamp to feed as well as through an incision, although it might take longer to do so. Of course in some people it can also lead to feeding in other ways.

Eternally,

Aislin

[The Madame X]

[deacongray]

[Darkness]

[deacongray]