What we Build

[deacongray]

What We Build
By Deacon Gray

I think we have all had the experience of joining something new. The excitement of exploration, the thrill of joining the project, even if the project is nothing more than becoming a piece of the puzzle that makes the community a community.
People have always come together. Individuals form families, families form tribes, tribes become communities. As long as we continue building, we continue to grow. We have seen in countries where growth has stopped, the connections break down, and soon so does the country itself unless it finds collectively a new stage of growth. Without it, the internal strife starts to take place. Factions develop, differences become disputes and disputes become full blown conflict.

So you might be wondering what this has to do with our community, or perhaps you already know where I am going with all this. Look around us and it becomes pretty obvious. Our community isn’t the place we once found, it isn’t the place we hoped…even deluded ourselves into believing to be a reality.

New people come in, they are so filled with opportunism, searching and seeking and trying to become part of the machine, but what they find instead is fractionalization, bickering, and conflict at every turn, unless they are lucky enough to find an organization that moves past it, one that builds and grows, but even those are under constant attack and, sadly they are few.

Think of our connection to the community as a couple coming together. When they first come together they are building something. They build a relationship that either works, or it doesn’t. If that works they look toward building a family. Once they have a family they build together for the sake of that family. Everything from finding out what the family does together, to how they interact and develop their relationships. Success follows as long as those building, and growing blocks continue to be the focus. In some cases the blocks start to tumble right away, in other cases those bounds grow past the simple family and move to a more complex one.

What we seem to face more and more with in the community is a lack of those bonds. Our community is like a family that once the kids are raised and out of the house no longer has a focus to keep them together. Instead all of the kids are off trying to develop their own families and totally rebelling against the family they once had.

People often ask me why some of us move to tight knit groups and houses, well for me that is simple, its because we want to form those bonds, to be apart of something that grows with us as part of it. Many leave their houses and organizations because there isn’t enough growth, or because the growth factor was never there to begin with. Houses like that soon crumble.

Look at the successful Houses, not those most loved by the community, but those that have lasted despite the popular opinion and what do you see? The AVA has a purpose, its members are growing individually and the AVA grows in purpose. Another less popular group in the OVC is Father Sebastiaans organization. With as much Ire as the community on and off line has for that group, it continues to grow because they have a focus of purpose, a drive. Another example is the House I am involved in. The House of The Dreaming continues by dedicating itself to projects, by keeping those family connections. Look at those organizations, like them or not, and then ask yourself if you are part of something productive. Wasn’t that what you were looking for when you came here?

Growth happens in what we build together, who we are is better defined when we have goals and a purpose besides bickering and drama. When people look back 20 years from now they are not going to remember the bickering children, they are going to remember the things that were productive and meaningful. They are going to look at what we built together, not what small groups of individuals did to break things down.
What we build matters, but in the very act of building we find often the individual growth we have been looking for.

[deacongray]

What do you guys think? Does this article pass review? I have decided to try to get your input on articles before I past them all over the place so honest critques are welcome

[Ookami]

I’m not sure where to start Deacon, I was a bit blown away by this. Your obviously a good example of pack mentality and leadership, at least to be able to distinguish between what really matters in a family and in an organization if we want to look at it that way.

I think you touched a very good point right at the beginning, where you rightfully pointed out that, when growth becomes a secondary objective, conflict and disputes over differences becomes the main. This is often very true and can be seen in almost every aspect of every culture. Look at any revolution and you will see this taking place in the aftermath.

I agree with the points you made here full heartedly, whoever you directed this to should be able to understand without feeling the need to contradict. May I step a little out of place and ask to whom this was originally directed at? I understand that you may not want to cause further drama, so I am fully aware that you might not be able to answer that question.

If I might make a suggestion I would say that if the ones who this addresses have lost their path there are ways of getting that energy redirected into the right purpose. Not easy but possible.

A well put piece Deacon, the only criticism that I can see anyone placing upon it, is that the piece speaks of utopian ideals or they may demand you show such things with your own actions. But both of those become quite invalid in your case.

Passes review with a high mark.

I will re-read but I think that is all I can muster this time around.

[The Madame X]

I give it a thumbs up.
Things can always be better, teams can always be more productive, and hopefully, yes, we will be remembered by the vestiges of good we left behind, the doors we opened and not the for the mess a few have made.
The growing problem is that we have embraced a negative connotation and with it we call upon negative stigma and even call to us those who prefer to destroy rather than to build. So indeed it becomes an uphill battle.
Its a clean and concise article i hope it motivates its readers onto positive strides.

[Yami Hikari]

You article I believe highlights not a problem just with our community, but society itself in general no matter it be a subculture or a club in school, human social interaction just aren't so bright of a prospect now.
In general our culture has changed from one where we were dependent on our own skill and our tribes, to one of interdependence between several others. We depend on others for work, to provide us food options, for transportation, to solve legal matters, to fix our problems, to give us opportunities, etc. The need for acceptance in this era has turned lethal, if you're constantly watching your back, how can you grow?
I agree with Deacon, it's not the most popular houses that you need to look at, but the longest lasting. Popularity comes with fads and trends; time comes with dedication and commitment to growth. Growth is something you can look back on and be proud of, knowing you’ve done your best and are going to continue; that's a fulfilling life.
-Yami

[deacongray]

Who was this directed at? Well Honestly it wasn't directed at anyone. I was listening to something, a audio book I believe, and it occurred to me that our community is at the point now where we are not really growing. Sure the size might be developing, but the actual community it self has pretty much moved into stagnation. There are exceptions, like the AVA, but even there we have a lot of promises of new things, but what we really see is pretty much more of the same. Every once in a while someone will jump out there with something new and dramatic, but that's not community, it is not family it is just...another form of media entertainment.

"San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time in the world."

"There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning....And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave."


Ok so these quotes from Hunter S Thompson don't really speak to our time, but it does speak to something simular. WE too once road that tide, that energy of change has been all around us and if you remember the early days that is how it felt, like we were apart of something larger, that we were growing and our energy would simply prevail into a new community a new way of thinking.

A lot of people were out there building things like Michelle's Codex based group, and Todds social based group and for some of us that energy, that tide hasn't broken yet, there is no high water mark of our potential. As long as we remain together and build together, not just things but the bonds that any family needs, then we evolve not die out like the hippies pretty much did.

I personally believe we all come to the community for a few reasons, family is one of them, self development and growth is another, and like it or not the best way to have either is to develop both together.

Deacon

[The Madame X]

Building is great. But strong foundations and corner-stones must be put in place.
So often we see organizations burning so bright they end-up self-destroying before they even got started.